What goes around....

In my first year of college, my parents got me a TVS 50. My mom actually accompanied me to the RTO office in Guindy and tried to get me a learner's licence without bribing anyone.(that didn't work; my dad had to pay someone to get me that and later the drivers' licence.) But once I started riding it around, she got very concerned. She used to sit on the stairs on our house and wait for me to get back home safe every time i took that TVS 50 out. I was outraged by her concern for me. It felt like she did not trust me enough to get back home in one piece. 'Don't wait on the stairs for me' - I used to yell at her.

Last Wednesday, I let both my daughters get on eight wheelers each and into a place with no lanes, no signals, no age restrictions, no traffic police except for 20 year olds also on eight wheelers asking others to keep moving. As I was sitting on the bench at the roller skating center, i had only about 43 mini heart attacks each time one of mine lunged forward or when someone else came too close to them. The girls survived with minor bruises to their bottoms and egos - nothing that won't heal before next Wednesday - and are already looking forward to their next time. My little one wants me to don skates and take her hand in the rink. 'No way' - I say - 'I am not getting on anything with wheels unless it also has a seat!' I'll probably never learn to skate... but i have to learn to let go, as my mother did, so they can soar without being weighted down by my concern.

Margo Memories

Hubby returned from Chennai yesterday and brought back, among a lot of other things, a dozen Margo soap bars. He left for work at 7:00 this morning and I lazed into the bathroom at 8:00 after throwing a shout at the girls to get up. That's when i smelled the Margo soap and was immediately transported to my grand mother's bathroom!! No no... not time travel. Scientific research suggests that the sense of smell is the strongest memory trigger. My grandma always used Margo (until a few year ago, when she changed loyalty to Dove as per her doctor's advice). And today I could vividly recall the bathroom in my grandma's Vallaba Agraharam home in Triplicane. It had a rickety wooden door with water eating away the bottom. On the left inside corner, there was a rusted but working hand pump, a metal bucket and a palstic mug. And there was that clean smell of Margo.
My grandma rented a portion on the first floor of the home. You would climb the staircase to a veranda. On the right, the veranda led to a long narrow balcony. And on the left there was a hallway that led to our portion. On either side of the hallway, there was a bedroom and a kitchen that was rented by another family.
The hallway opened to another small veranda that housed the hot water boiler. The kitchen and one room were on the right. A left turn at the end would bring you to the bathroom and the toilet. Over all a dark place, but the one room had a skylight!
My cousins and me have spent countless summer days in this home - playing 'kola kolaya mundhirika' and 'oru kodam thanni' in the veranda...taking off dry clothes hung on the terrace, guarding 'vattal and vadams' laid out to dry. In the evenings, my uncle would take buckets of water up to the terrace and splash water all around to cool the sun baked terra cota tiled floor.
The best part would be when all the kids would sit around an adult in front of a big plate full of 'Thayir saadam' - curd rice and a cup of 'vatha kuzhambu'. The adult would place a ball of rice in each of our hands, we would make a small well in it with our thumbs and that would be filled with the 'vatha kuzhambu' and that ball would travel into our mouths. After dinner, we would carry sheets and pillows up to the terrace and sleep on the cool floor, trying a get a spot as close to the skylight as possible to look down at nothing through the opaque glass.
Hubby brought back, not just Margo soap, but all these fond memories... Thanks!

Yes, No, Maybe

I never lie to my kids. At least, not blatantly. Definitely not when I know I will get caught. I use this technique I learned from my uncle who was and is wise beyond his years. Never say 'Yes' or 'No' to anything. Always say 'Maybe'... that way you are never lying.
'Amma, are we going to the beach this weekend?' 'Maybe.'
'Amma, can we have pizza for dinner?' 'Maybe.'
I did not always use 'Maybe'. I improvised.
'Amma, can I have my friends over for a play date?' 'I'll think about it.'

This worked for some time. But then I heard my 6 year old explaining to the 2 year old - 'Oh! when she says 'maybe', it means 'no'!' I realized that I can't continue with this. It was around the same time that I realized that my older one had invented a technique of her own.
'Are you done getting dressed?' - 'Almost'
'Are you done with your homework?' - 'Almost'
She might have just pulled the homework out of her backpack, she might be half way through it and very rarely she might actually be almost done with it. But the answer is always - Almost.
Did you like your lunch? - I think so.
Did you do well on your test? - kind of.

I am trying to be more honest with them nowadays. They are growing up, they can handle the raw truth. If I am too tired to take them to the movies, that is what they will hear. I've asked my older one to give me 'yes' or 'no' answers. Let's see....

I drop her at school.... it 23 degrees.....
'Kanna, please wear your hat during recess...' I shout as she walks away from the car.
'Whatever' - she mumbles.

Quick Math

My parents are here with us, spoiling my daughters rotten and enjoying it thoroughly. About a week after their arrival, one afternoon, my mom was trying all her best to get my younger one to finish her lunch, when my dad announced that he would give her a dollar if she ate her lunch.
She was done in a minute and was thrilled when my dad kept his promise. She hugged him and declared that he was the 'bestest' grandpa in the world. I only had one word for him - 'Beware'.
The next day, she collected another dollar and brought the two dollars that she 'earned' with her when I took her and my dad to the store. As I was driving, she asked me what she could buy with her money. I told her that two dollars will buy her some candy or some hair barrettes, maybe.
'How much will a camera cost?' - she asked. A camera has been on her wish list for a long time.
'A hundred dollars'
'How long is thatha going to stay with us?'

Kudumba Maanam (Family Reputation)

It was two years ago... the Tamil movie Sivaji came to town and we (me and my daughters) were super excited to go see it at the theater. my husband said it would be a waste of his time and our money. we ditched him and went with our friends and had a gala time. About three months later, the 100th day showing of the same movie came to the theaters. And this time around, our nephew (hubby's sister's son) was visiting us from India and we roped him in to see the movie again. Hubby could not refuse and reluctantly agreed to go. That saturday morning as we were having coffee, he said ' I had a dream last night... that you were dancing down the theater aisles during the movie...my nephew is shocked and he tells all about that to my mom and sister'! 'you are not planning to do anything like that... are you?' he asked quietly. News about what i did during the movie the first time must have come trickling down through some of our friends... not much.. just shouting a couple of open threats at the guy who says 'Sivaji must be hanged' or something similar and at suman who taunts Sivaji for being a bus conductor and a few high pitched howls whenever Sivaji uttered a punch dialogue. So that was what was bothering him. I just smiled smugly at him.

We were at the movie finally. At Rajini's first scene on the screen and every time he did something awesome (which was pretty often), i only had to look at my daughters... with all the accuracy that comes only with two weeks of practice, they threw both their hands up in air in front of them and screamed at the top of their lungs 'THALAIVAAAAA'!

Epic(s) Meeting

I told the story of Arjuna being the best archer to my younger daughter. About how he can shoot at the eye of a toy bird (it can't be a real bird... she won't let me continue the story...she will grieve the death of the bird for a day.) by looking at its reflection in a pond. The next day, it was the story of Vishwamitra asking Dasaratha to send Rama and Lakshmana with him to fight the demons so that he can perform his yagna. Dasaratha hesitates to send his young sons and instead offers his army.

Vishwamitra insists on taking the boys with him. She asks me, 'why can't he just take that guy who can shoot at the eye of the bird... did he live far away?'

The antibiotics of life

There was this Tamil movie i saw on DD when i was 12 or 13. Thengai Srinivasan is the hero. He is disease ridden and lying on his death bed with a side table full of medications. Lord Krishna, played by none other than N T Rama Rao is sitting on bed making thengai realise that he is suffering because of all the sins he committed in his life. This is the conversation that goes on....

Krishna: Do you realise why you are suffering like this?
thengai : Why?
Krishna: Because of all the bad things you did in your life...
thengai: I don't believe that.
Krishna: You are taking all these medications...
thengai: So...
Krishna: What is this one here called?
thengai: Erythromycin.
Krishna: Erythro what?
thengai: mycin.
Krishna: This one?
thengai: Zythromycin.
Krishna: Zythro what?
thengai: mycin.
Krishna: And this one?
thengai: Someothermycin.
Krishna: Someother what?
thengai: MYCIN.

And thengai suddenly realises what Krishna is trying to say.
This scene has played in my mind every time i was prescribed antibiotics over the years.
Last week, i was down with pneumonia and the doctor ordered a fresh round of antibiotics - and you know what, this time the mycins were much bigger than i ever remember.