Mighty School Paati

We called our Grandma, "School Paati". I don't remember how exactly she got this name but I believe my cousins who had two grandmothers decided to call her this because she was a school teacher. She was my maternal grandmother, the only grandparent I knew all my life.
Born on August 2nd, 1927, my grandma was the oldest of eight siblings. She was the smartest kid in school. I've heard stories of her teacher sending someone home asking her to come to class if she ever missed a day of school. When she was all of 16 years old, she was married off to her mother's uncle whose wife had just passed away leaving behind two young children. Overnight, she turned from school girl to wife and mother. The two children, who probably could not come to call their young cousin, 'Amma' - mother called her 'Akka' - older sister,instead, which they did all her life.
For the next eleven years, she was a dutiful wife bearing four children of her own, when at her age of 27, she lost her husband. Left alone to face the world with her kids, she managed to keep afloat with the help of her parents and the complete support of her eldest (step)son, who took up a job. She pursued and completed her S.S.L.C, and with her tailoring skills, landed a teacher's job at a government school. She also did a lot of tailoring for family and friends on the side to supplement her income. She ran a tight ship and watched her children grow, excel in studies and the arts, land jobs, get married and settle down in life. She retired from her teaching career when I was about 12.
School Paati loved to read and listen to Carnatic music. She would read 'The Hindu' cover to cover and was on top on everyday happenings. She would make time to go to music concerts and had a pocket transistor glued to her ear when she could not. She spent hours everyday doing various Poojas and reciting Slokas from memory. With the advent of cable TV, she watched multiple serials,cooking shows, news and religious channels often toggling between two channels and watching two shows at the same time. When she could no longer sit for long at live concerts, she started to look for concerts and recitals that had live webcasts and watched them at home on the computer. She most recently learnt to listen to streaming music on the iPad. She was ever curious, eager to adapt to new ways even while religiously following traditions.
I've always envied her memory power. She remembered names of companies where her grandchildren worked, of her children's and grand children's co-workers, friends, in-laws and neighbors, of television actors and actresses, of singers, the songs they performed and the Raagas of those songs. I've listened to her recite, when she was in her sixties,  'The Inchcape Rock" by Robert Southey, a poem that she memorized in third grade. She was constantly thinking and planning for the future, be it dinner plans for the night, a distant cousin's wedding over the weekend or a grandchild's visit the next month. Her brain was for ever processing 'what if' situations, most of which resulted in 'I told you so's.
School Paati took all that life had thrown at her in her stride and showed life who was boss. She was 87 when she passed away last Sunday, sitting up on the sofa, having dressed up and eaten her lunch all by herself, just as she had wished for. If at half her age, I have a tenth of her courage, determination, resilience, curiosity and her most admired memory, I will consider myself gifted,
Rest in Peace, School Paati.

Neighbor Good

Growing up, we lived next to some really nice folks. But the one family that we lived next to the longest during my childhood was the M akka family.  We were in G40 and they in G39 on the second floor. You might have as well called us G3940... the doors to both our homes were perpetually open.  I don't ever recall knocking on their door or ringing the door bell to get into their home. They were over at our place to watch the ever famous Oliyum OLiyum on Friday nights. We had a TV then and they did not.  And then we went over to watch the same program when they bought a color TV and ours was just a B&W. We bought our dining tables from the same store, ours a dull brown four seater and theirs an awesome pink six seater.  How I wished ours was pink.  But that did not matter...  I've eaten more than one meal on that pink table. In fact, my brother and I had our own plates in their house.  Anytime, vegetable biriyani and kurma was on the menu, we were on their uninvited guest list.
I was always in awe of the two sisters, their luscious long hair in thick oiled braids and their excellent collection of sarees.  The two had a calendar between them where they charted who will wear what saree to which function. My earliest memory is that of N akka dressing me up to play the witch in the 'Sleeping Beauty' school play.  I was in UKG and my mom just back from the hospital with my new baby brother.  N akka  draped me in her black half saree and crafted a conical hat out of black chart paper; I was one good looking witch.  When M akka got married and went to Singapore and then to the US, I thought she would have forgotten me.  But I was in the hospital for a surgery and she sent out a 'Get Well' card.  I did not even know such a thing existed! Later that year, she sent me a musical birthday card.  I was in greeting card heaven for a long time. G anna was always looked upon with a little bit of fear. But there was this day when he came out to help me and my brother fly a kite. It was the day after N akka got married. We had loads of fun and I was no longer afraid of him!

Mama is very soft spoken as much as he is articulate.  I've had innumerable English essay writing lessons from Mama. I recently found out that his father was a teacher and that Kalaignar Karunanidhi was one of his students. Teaching definitely runs in the family!
Mami - we always called her M akka mami.  Still do. She is the star of the family. An all rounder - dutiful house wife, loving mom and aunty, friendly neighbour, Hindi class teacher, excellent tailor, baker... the list goes on.  I took many years of Hindi tuition from her.  After school, I would quietly slip into her kitchen for some awesome snacks (warm gooey carrot halwa tops the list) before I joined the other kids for the class. She helped me write a speech in Hindi for a competition at school.  What's interesting is that I used the same speech to win third place when I was in 9th grade and first place in 10th grade! I baked my first cake with her for her grandson's first birthday.  I vividly remember one day - I must have been 11 or 12,  Mami and I were walking back home and we passed an older lady carrying heavy bags in either hand. Mami did not hesitate to offer to carry the bags for that lady. 'I am going very far' said that lady. 'No problem', said Mami, 'I will carry them as far as my home'.  This incident left me with an indelible lesson - If you can, help. I try living up to that.
We are still in touch...N akka still looks like a akka, even in the pictures of her son's wedding. M akka sends me holiday cards, Mama sends out emails of family pictures and happenings, Mami continues to teach innumerable students and make awesome halwa (I had some the last time I visited them in 2011 and I know I owe them a phone call) and G anna became friends with me on Facebook last week.
Recently, I met my backyard neighbor at a school event - 'Hi! Stranger!' she greeted me.
Growing up, our neighbors were no strangers to us.

Bed Time Sale

Ever since summer vacation started, I have been, as every parent is during the first week, at least, very keen on limiting the girls' TV and computer time and finding alternate activities to keep them occupied. Two days ago, as I settled down for some 'My' TV time after dinner, my little one came running to me, the 'Boring' monster close at her heels.  I commissioned her to do a drawing and she immediately asked - Will you buy it from me? I agreed.

She was busy at it for almost an hour and as I was getting ready for bed, she came to me with a pencil drawing of three bouquets of flowers and went - Here, buy this from me.  It costs three hugs and three kisses!  I was pleasantly surprised.  This one is very money smart and is always looking for ways to fill up her piggy bank.  So, at the price she was quoting, the drawing was a bargain! I paid up immediately.  As an after thought, I even paid her an advance of three more hugs and kisses to get the drawing colored for me.  It will be delivered in 24 hours, I was promised. That was fine with me. 

And then she goes - You owe me three more hugs and kisses. 
What for? I ask.
Taxes, of course! - she announces.
I have never been happier to pay my taxes!

And since the colored drawing was not delivered as promised, I got a 'refund' last night.

Second Family

Today is my last day at my current work place. The following people are second family to me. I’ve been and grown at this place for four years and 8 months and it is only fair that I write , if not in stone, somewhere more permanent, about how I feel about them...

The boss is one of the most capable all rounders I have ever met in my life. A total people person. Always in control of what is happening around him. How he manages his whole day in an office full of chattering ladies…I don’t know! The kind of flexibility and freedom that he gave me at this job…I know I will never get anywhere else. Wishing you a journey to great heights.

The smallest person in the office has the largest personality. Conspicuous by absence and presence! Speaks her mind…An open book…one look at her in the morning and you know what her mood is going to be for the rest of the day. A fashionista who is so much in touch with her inner girl. A hard worker who knows how to have fun. Her best quality, I think, is her ability to laugh at herself. Wishing you the ability to buy a BMW in the future.

Call her by one name and look up her email by another! This person, according to me, is the Rock in the office. Cool, calm and composed…always. A smile on her face…always. I’ve overheard many of her phone conversations and have admired the way she handles the stickiest of situations without raising her voice. I’ve never known a more content person in my life. Wishing you good luck in your house hunt.

The baby of the office is only a year old. Smiles when happy… pouts when sad… just like a baby… But a perfect example of ‘Don’t judge the book by the cover’! The sweet and innocent looks belie a smart and thoughtful person. Speaks her mind too… no wonder they get along so well! Love the way her accent changes when talking to the client. I hope her inner child never grows up. Wishing you world travels and whatever that is you are fasting for.

Will miss you guys like crazy…

Chennai welcomes you...

It hits you as soon you get off the plane... the heat that the A/c desperately tries to cool down. A sweet looking lady with a smile, big red bindi and a chandan dash stamps our passports as Suprabhatham plays mildly on a player on her counter.
As we walk out the airport, we see happy familiar faces. My nose picks up sweat, sandalwood, urine and jasmine all at the same time. My older one giggles at a paid public toilet remembering a comical scene from a Tamil movie we recently watched. Little one is thrilled to ride in the front seat with Thatha.
I point out the dilapidated building which was the RTO where i got my learning license. We pass the IIT campus where I spent two glorious years of my life and the street down which a good friend lived. My eyes search for the building that used to be the Adyar NIIT center. My dad asks, 'do you remember this temple?' Of course, that's where we did the pooja for my kinetic honda. i see bus stops where i've spent countless hours waiting for 47s, 29s and 5s. New stores and construction take the places of old familiar spots. Ramprasad Hotel is now Zon...something multi cuisine. Rukmini bakery is still there! My home...Happy Home... the jasmine creeper, the new car, the clothes lines on the balcony. my room... posters of Anil Kumble and fido dido replaced with my daughters' pictures.
As i sip a cup of amma's filter coffee, appa brings back Sambhar Vadai from Rambhavan. Now the welcome is complete...

Fever

I thought I was immune to it. I was wrong. I mean, I had not caught it for more than ten years now...since i moved to USA. Back in India, I used to fall prey to it frequently, missing many a school, college and work days. My mom used to go crazy when my dad, my brother and I all caught it at the same time. She was immune to it. Still is. It won't touch her.
This time, it was obvious from many friends' status updates that they had caught it early on. Phone calls to home and cousins in India made it clear that it was already rampant there. You couldn't catch it over the internet or phone...could you?
But then, co-workers started showing symptoms too. Well, how much damage could they do? After all, I only work part-time.
I am pretty sure I caught it from my brother and his wife who came home on a weekend visit. I knew the minute they stepped into the house that they both had a full blown case of it. It was waking up my brother in the middle on the night. Hubby had apparently tried to mask his symptoms all this while.
But by mid-week of spring break, even I could not keep it under wraps. I had the fever - the cricket fever! All symptoms came back flaring right on time for the India - Pakistan show down and the finals. My daughters were annoyed that mom and dad were hogging the computer and the TV. They were dumb struck at their parents high fiving and dancing around in circles in the family room. They can't believe that we watch highlights after highlights after highlights of the same matches.
It's been an awesome feeling catching the cricket fever all over again. Guess this time around, what with the IPL and all, it is going to last a while. I just hope it lasts long enough for my daughters to catch it too...

TV vs. Books

i know research says watching TV is not so good for growing children's brains. But I am a tv and movie fanatic and will watch anything that has even a remote story line - although movie songs, crime drama, avatar (for now) are my favorites. I used to fake sickness and bunk saturday half day school so that i could watch the regional film that DD used to telecast on those mornings and i didn't even understand the language! I used to refuse to go out with my mother on Friday evenings in order to catch the ever famous 'Oliyum Oliyum'. My mom used to say, "if only someone invented a small tv that can be worn around the neck, i would get her one!"
And mangoes don't fall far from the tree. my daughters crave their tv and movie time. We watched tonnes of movies (thanks to redbox) over the summer and became iCarly and Avatar fans. iCarly was subsequently banned as my younger daughter picked up a lot of objectionable language and attitude from that show.

But coming to the subject, of late, i've been thinking how watching tv is so much better than reading books - especially from a mom's point of view.

TV comes to your home. Books have to brought home from the library in heavy bags.

The TV sits in one place. you never have to go looking for it(hunting for the remote, however, is a different issue). Books seem to get all over the place and you can never find it when you are in the mood to read.

The tv shows actually have healthy ad breaks, during which time, the kids can use the bathroom and do small chores around the house. It is very hard to get them to put a book down once they are into it.

And you can eat and watch tv at the same time. Although i've perfected the art of eating and reading a book at the same time, my kids have a long way to go. There are books in our house whose pages are stained yellow with turmeric.

When they watch a tv show, 90% of the time, i am watching with them too. So I can go stand in front of the tv when there is any smooching on and help protect my babies' innocence. But I can't control what they are reading. It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to read all the books that my daughters bring from the library before letting them read.

And watching TV counts as quality family time. you can laugh, cry, be scared and embarrassed as a family. how can four people read the same book at the same time?

And finally, until they invent a remote for our kids, we can indirectly control them using the tv remote! and which mom does not want that!