i know research says watching TV is not so good for growing children's brains. But I am a tv and movie fanatic and will watch anything that has even a remote story line - although movie songs, crime drama, avatar (for now) are my favorites. I used to fake sickness and bunk saturday half day school so that i could watch the regional film that DD used to telecast on those mornings and i didn't even understand the language! I used to refuse to go out with my mother on Friday evenings in order to catch the ever famous 'Oliyum Oliyum'. My mom used to say, "if only someone invented a small tv that can be worn around the neck, i would get her one!"
And mangoes don't fall far from the tree. my daughters crave their tv and movie time. We watched tonnes of movies (thanks to redbox) over the summer and became iCarly and Avatar fans. iCarly was subsequently banned as my younger daughter picked up a lot of objectionable language and attitude from that show.
But coming to the subject, of late, i've been thinking how watching tv is so much better than reading books - especially from a mom's point of view.
TV comes to your home. Books have to brought home from the library in heavy bags.
The TV sits in one place. you never have to go looking for it(hunting for the remote, however, is a different issue). Books seem to get all over the place and you can never find it when you are in the mood to read.
The tv shows actually have healthy ad breaks, during which time, the kids can use the bathroom and do small chores around the house. It is very hard to get them to put a book down once they are into it.
And you can eat and watch tv at the same time. Although i've perfected the art of eating and reading a book at the same time, my kids have a long way to go. There are books in our house whose pages are stained yellow with turmeric.
When they watch a tv show, 90% of the time, i am watching with them too. So I can go stand in front of the tv when there is any smooching on and help protect my babies' innocence. But I can't control what they are reading. It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to read all the books that my daughters bring from the library before letting them read.
And watching TV counts as quality family time. you can laugh, cry, be scared and embarrassed as a family. how can four people read the same book at the same time?
And finally, until they invent a remote for our kids, we can indirectly control them using the tv remote! and which mom does not want that!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
the joys of lullaby singing...
I get my love for singing from my parents. My dad had a grand collection of MGR and Sivaji songs along with Osibisa and Boney M. on cassette tape that he used to make us listen and he would sing along. We also listened to 'Ungal Viruppam' on the radio every morning. Oliyum Oliyum on Fridays and later Chitrahaar and Superhit Muqabula used to be our most favorite shows on DD. My mom had her own favorite songs from when she was younger and would hum those songs every now and then although she was generally disappointed with the practice of film songs blaring in the morning instead of 'Subrabhatham'. With this kind of influence, I had numerous film songs committed to memory that helped me win many rounds of anthankshari.
When my first one was born, I put all my singing talent to use. I sang her to sleep every single time. I got bored with 'Rock a bye baby' and 'Hush little baby' very soon and looked up my vast film song database for baby soothing songs. I ended up with 'Thenpaandi Cheemaiyile' (Nayagan), 'Kanne Kalaimaane' (Moondram Pirai) and 'So Gaya Yeh Jahaan' (Tezaab). My little one took a great liking to these songs and I used the same songs for my second one too.
It has been almost four years since i sang my girls to sleep when last week, one night, out of the blue, my little one asked me - 'Amma, can you sing me to sleep?' The girls and me were reading in my room, as do every night for about fifteen minutes before they go to their rooms. I was thrilled and I started with 'So Gaya'. As i finished that song, my older one, who i thought was reading and not paying attention said, 'Can you sing the 'Kanne Kalaimaane' song?' I did and with great pleasure, noticed her tapping her hand to the beat of the song. Before the song was done, my little one was fast asleep. I would like to think it was my singing.... not the fact that she was super tired from a 40 minute swimming lesson earlier that evening that lulled her to sleep.
When my first one was born, I put all my singing talent to use. I sang her to sleep every single time. I got bored with 'Rock a bye baby' and 'Hush little baby' very soon and looked up my vast film song database for baby soothing songs. I ended up with 'Thenpaandi Cheemaiyile' (Nayagan), 'Kanne Kalaimaane' (Moondram Pirai) and 'So Gaya Yeh Jahaan' (Tezaab). My little one took a great liking to these songs and I used the same songs for my second one too.
It has been almost four years since i sang my girls to sleep when last week, one night, out of the blue, my little one asked me - 'Amma, can you sing me to sleep?' The girls and me were reading in my room, as do every night for about fifteen minutes before they go to their rooms. I was thrilled and I started with 'So Gaya'. As i finished that song, my older one, who i thought was reading and not paying attention said, 'Can you sing the 'Kanne Kalaimaane' song?' I did and with great pleasure, noticed her tapping her hand to the beat of the song. Before the song was done, my little one was fast asleep. I would like to think it was my singing.... not the fact that she was super tired from a 40 minute swimming lesson earlier that evening that lulled her to sleep.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
A long way
I've come a long way from the girl that I was to the young woman that I have become.
I've come a long way......
from the girl that chose to go to evening college and to work the afternoon shift at her job just so she could sleep in late,
to the mom whose day begins at 6:15 (at least that's when the alarm is set to ring). By 7:30, my older one is shouted and yelled at and is out of the house with breakfast in her tummy and lunch in her backpack. Hubby also leaves around the same time. If all goes well, I will have managed to pick a fight with him by then. Then a quick yoga routine and then round two of S & Y to get the second one off to school. By 9:00, I try to be at work.
from the girl that used to bunk Saturday half-day school to watch the regional film on DD and took off from work to watch a whole day of cartoon network
to the mom who tries to keep her daughters' evenings and weekends busy so that they do not become couch potatoes. I splurge on games and toys so that the girls are not lured to TV by boredom. I take them to the library, park, on bike rides and walks. Whatever TV they watch, I drop everything else and watch with them. I can proudly say that I've watched all the episodes of Avatar - The Last Airbender.
from the girl that had only Maggie and tea on her recipe list and that used to laugh at women who wrote in ideas for quick and easy eats to 'Mangayar Malar'
to the mom that scours magazines and websites for recipes. I cook my own versions of Chinese, Thai, Italian and Mexican so that my kids will eat without a fuss. The fact that hubby prefers 'Rasam Saadam' over everything else is ignored and often mocked at. I am thrilled that my 'Mullangi Sambhar' and 'Paav Baaji' are the world's best as certified by my girls.
from the girl that used to depend on her mom for food, on her dad for drop offs and pick ups, on her maid for clean laundry to the woman that cooks, cleans and manages a household of four and a part-time job and that drives around so much that she feels at home in her van (the van storage houses water, snacks, pens, pencils, notepad, cell phone charger, hair brush and accessories among other things)...I've indeed come a long way.
Last week an older co-worker asks me - 'How old are your kids?' I tell him.
'Wow', he says, 'You have a long way to go.'
I've come a long way......
from the girl that chose to go to evening college and to work the afternoon shift at her job just so she could sleep in late,
to the mom whose day begins at 6:15 (at least that's when the alarm is set to ring). By 7:30, my older one is shouted and yelled at and is out of the house with breakfast in her tummy and lunch in her backpack. Hubby also leaves around the same time. If all goes well, I will have managed to pick a fight with him by then. Then a quick yoga routine and then round two of S & Y to get the second one off to school. By 9:00, I try to be at work.
from the girl that used to bunk Saturday half-day school to watch the regional film on DD and took off from work to watch a whole day of cartoon network
to the mom who tries to keep her daughters' evenings and weekends busy so that they do not become couch potatoes. I splurge on games and toys so that the girls are not lured to TV by boredom. I take them to the library, park, on bike rides and walks. Whatever TV they watch, I drop everything else and watch with them. I can proudly say that I've watched all the episodes of Avatar - The Last Airbender.
from the girl that had only Maggie and tea on her recipe list and that used to laugh at women who wrote in ideas for quick and easy eats to 'Mangayar Malar'
to the mom that scours magazines and websites for recipes. I cook my own versions of Chinese, Thai, Italian and Mexican so that my kids will eat without a fuss. The fact that hubby prefers 'Rasam Saadam' over everything else is ignored and often mocked at. I am thrilled that my 'Mullangi Sambhar' and 'Paav Baaji' are the world's best as certified by my girls.
from the girl that used to depend on her mom for food, on her dad for drop offs and pick ups, on her maid for clean laundry to the woman that cooks, cleans and manages a household of four and a part-time job and that drives around so much that she feels at home in her van (the van storage houses water, snacks, pens, pencils, notepad, cell phone charger, hair brush and accessories among other things)...I've indeed come a long way.
Last week an older co-worker asks me - 'How old are your kids?' I tell him.
'Wow', he says, 'You have a long way to go.'
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Hand me (ups and) downs
There are certain advantages of being the first born, despite the fact that your parents literally experiment with you, on their way to becoming better parents. Almost everthing you get is new.
My older daughter is constantly reaping her benefits of being the first born. All clothes, accessories, toys, crib, storller, bedding, bicycles one, two and three were and are all brand new. Being the first born in the family and among our close group of friends, she gets absolutely no hand me downs. Where as, my second one gets tons of them, not only from her sister but from an older cousin and friends. She is actually excited when she gets them! Before she gets into an outfit, she always asks - now remind me again... whose shirt was this?! - and fondly remembers the person who gave it to her.
I am first born too. I had new clothes, new toys, new bicycle (new tvs champ and Kinetic Honda). It wasn't untill I was in ninth grade or so that my mom realsied that my cousin, a year older than me, who lived in Coimbatore, had the same books for school as I did. Her books looked brand new; even the ones that she had bought from her seniors! I was actually thrilled to use those second hand books. They had notes all over in my cousin's perfect pearl like handwriting. Apart from the books, I never had to use anything that someone else didn't need but was still in good condition.
The other morning, as my daughter was getting ready for school, I pulled out a new pair of mary jane shoes that I had bought during last year's sale. 'Wear these with your skirt. They'll look nice' I said. She tried them on. Both of us were disappointed when they did not fit her. As I stood staring at her feet wondering how fast they had grown, she said 'Well, now you can have them!'
My older daughter is constantly reaping her benefits of being the first born. All clothes, accessories, toys, crib, storller, bedding, bicycles one, two and three were and are all brand new. Being the first born in the family and among our close group of friends, she gets absolutely no hand me downs. Where as, my second one gets tons of them, not only from her sister but from an older cousin and friends. She is actually excited when she gets them! Before she gets into an outfit, she always asks - now remind me again... whose shirt was this?! - and fondly remembers the person who gave it to her.
I am first born too. I had new clothes, new toys, new bicycle (new tvs champ and Kinetic Honda). It wasn't untill I was in ninth grade or so that my mom realsied that my cousin, a year older than me, who lived in Coimbatore, had the same books for school as I did. Her books looked brand new; even the ones that she had bought from her seniors! I was actually thrilled to use those second hand books. They had notes all over in my cousin's perfect pearl like handwriting. Apart from the books, I never had to use anything that someone else didn't need but was still in good condition.
The other morning, as my daughter was getting ready for school, I pulled out a new pair of mary jane shoes that I had bought during last year's sale. 'Wear these with your skirt. They'll look nice' I said. She tried them on. Both of us were disappointed when they did not fit her. As I stood staring at her feet wondering how fast they had grown, she said 'Well, now you can have them!'
Monday, July 19, 2010
Boys will be boys and men too
Met up with some friends after a long time...(made some new ones too!).
They all wondered at how my girls had grown up. Some said I looked the same (Yay! I think...). But I was amazed at how they were still the same and at how much they had changed at the same time...
I knew them as boys. Now I see them as husbands and dads. I see the boys lazing around in chairs. I see the husband quickly getting up and moving into the next room to hold a quiet conversation with the wife. I see the boys joking and pulling each other's legs. I see the dad bragging about his kid's ability to recognize 'brown' or worrying about his child being cranky after missing nap time. I used to see them with back packs, long engineering tools sticking out from them. Now I see them with heavy SLRs and sleek iphones. They are hardly the boys I knew. They haven't changed a bit.
The three hour meet-up was so worth the 300 minute drive.
They all wondered at how my girls had grown up. Some said I looked the same (Yay! I think...). But I was amazed at how they were still the same and at how much they had changed at the same time...
I knew them as boys. Now I see them as husbands and dads. I see the boys lazing around in chairs. I see the husband quickly getting up and moving into the next room to hold a quiet conversation with the wife. I see the boys joking and pulling each other's legs. I see the dad bragging about his kid's ability to recognize 'brown' or worrying about his child being cranky after missing nap time. I used to see them with back packs, long engineering tools sticking out from them. Now I see them with heavy SLRs and sleek iphones. They are hardly the boys I knew. They haven't changed a bit.
The three hour meet-up was so worth the 300 minute drive.
Friday, July 2, 2010
We're almost there...
Just before a train ride to downtown Chicago, i gave the usual warning to my girls - Use the bathroom now if you need to. In spite of this, my six year old, about 15 minutes through the ride, announced that she had to go NOW. I gave her the look and then decided that was not going to work, because we had at least another hour to go before we arrived at the station. So i tried to distract her - Do you want to play with the phone? We're almost there. Why don't you try to sing that song that your music teacher taught you, in your mind and see if you remember the whole song? Let's play red pinch - you pinch me every time you see a red car! We're almost there.
Finally the station did arrive. We raced to the bathroom only to find a loooong line outside. We're almost there, just march in place - I told her. I also asked if she quickly wanted to run into the men's room (surprise surprise - no line there) while i waited outside. 'No way' - she said. About five minutes later, she finally found relief!
This morning on my way to work, i notice the 'fuel empty' light on the dash board. I've been driving around with that light on for the last three days. I know there is a gas station at the next signal...now if I can only let my car know - We're almost there...
Finally the station did arrive. We raced to the bathroom only to find a loooong line outside. We're almost there, just march in place - I told her. I also asked if she quickly wanted to run into the men's room (surprise surprise - no line there) while i waited outside. 'No way' - she said. About five minutes later, she finally found relief!
This morning on my way to work, i notice the 'fuel empty' light on the dash board. I've been driving around with that light on for the last three days. I know there is a gas station at the next signal...now if I can only let my car know - We're almost there...
Friday, June 25, 2010
What goes around....
In my first year of college, my parents got me a TVS 50. My mom actually accompanied me to the RTO office in Guindy and tried to get me a learner's licence without bribing anyone.(that didn't work; my dad had to pay someone to get me that and later the drivers' licence.) But once I started riding it around, she got very concerned. She used to sit on the stairs on our house and wait for me to get back home safe every time i took that TVS 50 out. I was outraged by her concern for me. It felt like she did not trust me enough to get back home in one piece. 'Don't wait on the stairs for me' - I used to yell at her.
Last Wednesday, I let both my daughters get on eight wheelers each and into a place with no lanes, no signals, no age restrictions, no traffic police except for 20 year olds also on eight wheelers asking others to keep moving. As I was sitting on the bench at the roller skating center, i had only about 43 mini heart attacks each time one of mine lunged forward or when someone else came too close to them. The girls survived with minor bruises to their bottoms and egos - nothing that won't heal before next Wednesday - and are already looking forward to their next time. My little one wants me to don skates and take her hand in the rink. 'No way' - I say - 'I am not getting on anything with wheels unless it also has a seat!' I'll probably never learn to skate... but i have to learn to let go, as my mother did, so they can soar without being weighted down by my concern.
Last Wednesday, I let both my daughters get on eight wheelers each and into a place with no lanes, no signals, no age restrictions, no traffic police except for 20 year olds also on eight wheelers asking others to keep moving. As I was sitting on the bench at the roller skating center, i had only about 43 mini heart attacks each time one of mine lunged forward or when someone else came too close to them. The girls survived with minor bruises to their bottoms and egos - nothing that won't heal before next Wednesday - and are already looking forward to their next time. My little one wants me to don skates and take her hand in the rink. 'No way' - I say - 'I am not getting on anything with wheels unless it also has a seat!' I'll probably never learn to skate... but i have to learn to let go, as my mother did, so they can soar without being weighted down by my concern.
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